Hej!
3 days after I wrote a post regarding my dog illness, she is
gone. I really want to write a happy news full with miracles, but in reality a good
things has so many different ways. For Pai, a good thing is really about going
to rest forever, not in this world but the other world.
On monday morning, she was doing fine. When we say fine, it
means that she has no drama in her usual morning, as she was having big trouble
on breathing at morning time for past 1 week, she can lay down. Despite collapsed
on Sunday noon, on the afternoon, she can even do a quick walk/run and knocking
the door with her paw. It does seems that something better is coming. But then,
it’s just a final energy she has.
On monday noon, she had seizures, she can’t even stand on
her feet. Because she was having the heart enlargement, the ability of her
heart pumping blood to her body is detoriated. As the result, her feet lost
enough blood circulation and became stiff. She can only lay down on her side,
while resting on her side means she doesn’t have enough strength to gasp for
more oxygen. So, she was having severe breathing problem.
We immediately go home and decided instantly, we will not her
wait in more pain. We decided to put her to sleep. We don’t want to push her to
the edge, although we know, even without
our intervention, she only has few hours to hold on. She has been on oxygen for
full 4 hours before the injection. Seeing
her suffer, is not in my option. So, putting her to sleep is definitely one
thing I will do when the time comes. Hopefully, it is not way too late, because
I won’t be able to put her to sleep while she’s still has sparkle in her eyes.
So, it happened. So quick, so calm. She left us, in tears
and in relieve knowing that she’s no longer in pain.
Pai is our first and only dog for 9 years before we have addition
of Twinkle. Pai has been a family, we
even joke every time that she’s the youngest daughter in family, and we even complete
her name with our family name. For me, Pai has always been my first born. She has
been with me since I was in university, for all of my milestones in life, she
always there, to celebrate, to cry with. I even insisted to have her in our
pre-wedding picture. I know she loved me so much, despite she normally only
craved for food and have a mild form of dog-autism, I know that her feeling for
me is different. Our bond is so strong, I gave my all for her, and so did she.
I lost a family, I lost a child. But I do believe that she’s
happy now. I don’t know If dog goes to heaven, but I know my child is now in
heaven, do what she likes most, eat and sleep. Til we meet again Pai. You don’t
know how much I love you. I hope you’re happy while we’re together.
Missing you
Your mom
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