When we were single, preparing for a wedding, we had much
anxiety on what will the future hold for us. Would it be a happy ever after as
in Disney movie, or some said, wedding is brighter when you’re not in that
institution. I sometimes questioned, will it bring more headache and burden for
us, or, rather than a simple life, a happy single life?
For us, it turns out to be a great journey. Everything turns
into its places, it’s probably true when there’s a saying, the best is YET to
come. Life is settling down. I guess, “knowing that whatever happens, you can
always find your anchor” really helps. In life, which is your ultimate God and in
everyday, your other half.
The other milestone for us to complete our life as husband
and wife is of course becoming a parents. We tried not to hurry it, as wedding
itself brings a lot of changes in life, we would like to take it slowly, enjoy
the precious time when there’re only 2 of us. Embrace greater responsibility
when the time comes. Well, somehow we try to take control of the time haha.
When I was single, I always heard my boyfriend saying that
you are ready for a marriage only when:
1.
You are BORED being single
2.
You enjoyed the FULLEST of your life as marriage
comes with responsibility, especially when you are a mom/dad
3.
You can ACCEPT your partner weaknesses and can
LIVE it with it
4.
Accept the FACT that you can never CHANGE your
partner, you can be a reason of your partner changing, but you can never be the
change agent
We clearly discussed about this and we openly share when we
are not comfortable yet, or we are now ready to tick mark point no. 1, 2, or 3.
It takes times, first stage is controlling self, and secondly is accepting others.
So, if you ask me, Sorry, I don’t believe love at the first sight. I do not
believe people can get married within 3 months of knowing each other. When you
do that, you are actually GAMBLE. It could turns out to be a great match made
in heaven (God speed), or a complete waste of time.
Similar with marriage, we want to take time before taking up
a greater responsibility as a parents, there’s no wrong or right to wait for a
children. It is true when people say, “When you decided to wed, you have to be
ready to become a parents”. We just have to aware that we are not young (30+
aaaaa). So wait a while, and hopefully all falls per plan. #Amen#
Now, I start having silly thought, should I become a working
mom or stay-at-home mom. Being a SAHM seems to be an easy way out when you are
stressed with work and darn traffic of JKT. But everybody knows, SAHM need
sacrifice, loosing most of your social life and what I’m afraid most is loose
all my confidence and sense of achievement. Being a mom itself is an
achievement, don’t get me wrong. But being a SAHM, where 24/7 staying at home
taking care of a baby can be overwhelming. In the other hands, of course we
want our kids grows in the perfect situation, with full watch of their mom/dad
(choose both if you have full financial liberty or support). I salute you.
I’m sad when I see some of the working-mom in my office or
old offices. With the traffic in JKT, they need to leave their home at 6 AM,
and do some overtime (especially when they have a lot of responsibility at
office) and arrive home at 8 PM. The title of working-mom does not lessen their
responsibility of a mom. It’s the same, they just need to compromise more and I
know compromising for your children, is nothing easy. In my opinion, I salute
you no less. In my point of view, SAHM is an option you can make (anyway you
made that decision), while in many cases, being a working mom is resulted from lack of
option (financial stability). Am not talking about being a working mom due to
preference ya.
Both ways, SAHM and working mom, you are a MOM. No one can
challenge your decision. For me, I am now in between, but I think I am more
towards a working mom, but striving to get a job that requires less working hour
and less stress, but it is highly possible for me to become SAHM once I have 2
kids, it’s about the economic of scale! Haha. The one I don’t want to become is a SAHM who
has so low confidence that they have to “attack” working mom and brands working
mom as an irresponsible mom that neglect their children, or even worst is so low confidence that she is not happy of her life.
But for now, I’m craving for two random things:
1.
Nasi Lawar Babi di Bali – one of the best-est
dish I ever had in life!
2.
How to buy horse oil shampoo in Jakarta. Carry
it from Japan is way too much!
Nasi lawar, dimana kauu?? Aku kangen sama kamuuuu…
Gejala sakit mental
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