A few days prior D day

The feeling is… surprisingly quite calm. I was 50% sure that I am a cold-hearted person without much expression, but now I am sure 90% that I am cold-hearted. Haha! If you ask me, I never know how I hide those feeling, be it, happy, sad, nervous, anxious, I can never really feel it anymore. The only feeling that I never lost my grip at, is stress. Ha! That remains… If I traced back all the memories, say, the day I left Japan, the day I left my previous office, the day I decided to get married, also today, which is a few days prior my wedding, I feel calm. I never really find a reason to cry, be it a happy cry or sad kind of cry. It is so strange… Many times I told myself, I am not a typical girl.. in terms of I lost my sense of femininity. Oh dear… So, here we are, a couple days prior the big D, I am still working in the office and will only take my leave tomorrow. Yiha! So Happy! Finally a long-waited holiday. It’s a well-deserved holiday. I am sure why I never feel any wedding jitter is because: 1. We are both too busy at work that we never have time to think about any different kind of drama, simply, just get this done! My bf is crazy busy as well, even when he is on leave or during weekend, his phone never stops ringing. I think any other girl will dump him right away! Hahaha… You know the feeling when you and your boyfriend in a car, and whenever you start to speak, your boyfriend will pick up the phone and give you the talk to the hand sign??!!!!?! Hate hate 2. Ever since I am very young (the day I start to read those cheesy Joan Collins novel), I always be that kind of girl who hates drama. I am very sure that drama is all made up by the sensitivity of a girl (normally from a she). Of course I did made some drama with crying sometimes, but I am sure I think twice to ensure it is the real underlying issue, not solely because of what I feel or what I want (I hope you agree with me, dear bf) 3. Expectation! Expectation! Expectation! – or better put, the lack of it haha. In the beginning, I think I was very determined in portraying our wedding. However for the past few months, we only want one thing, we got married and get our long-waited vacation! Now we simply take the easiest approach, simplify everything and sadly, let money solves the issues rather than spending time! The past few weeks, the budget has been thrown under the bus. We are running wild now.. hahaha.. So trust me, 15% buffer for un-expected is not enough! Some bride-to-be often take some treatment to ensure she shine on the day, but for me? Haha, I only got facial 5 days prior, decided to get my nail done 2 days prior, taking my 1st luluran 1 day prior! All being done in last week. Even my wedding song being saved on CD only this week. Premanisme besar2an! Hahaha… Cross my fingers for the Day, wish me luck!